Poem - Washing Day

Near noon the good ship Laundry Belle

Set sail from Washing Harbour.

A southwester blowing affably like butcher's banter,

Tufts of bread, white clods for the sea birds,

Rolling and bobbing on the green waves.

"All hands on deck!

Hoist the main sail!"

And up it goes, floral polyester applauding the wind,

Slapping the mast with a wet passion.

The captain stands defiant by the rigging,

Peg-shaped cutlass clamped tight between zealous teeth,

Hearing the ocean crash into the beech trees

Like the rushing of leaves in a spring gale.

"Ah ye landlubbers, ye Marks and Spencer's size 10 ladies briefs,

Yen te jump ship, ye scurvy mongrels?

Aye an' al string yer up by yer gusset

On the jib".

Delinquents secured to the heaving rope,

Onward she ploughs through an afternoon of sunshine,

This bold, bright suburban galleon.

And come four o’clock, the duvet cover’s dry.

Wrote this after pretending to be among the sails on a galleon while pegging out the family laundry on a windy day. No, I haven't grown up yet :)

2015 Copyright Mir Fleur

Revolting Soap

I suffer with a lot of annoying allergies, so I have been making my own soap for a few years now.

At one time, I considered making and selling the soap commercially.  It's really nice soap. But I changed my mind - because truly organic soap looks quite revolting!

I proudly present you this weekend's batch, which is "Oatmeal, Honey and Vanilla", "Patchouli and Rose", and "English Lavender".

This week's batch of homemade soap
Oatmeal and Vanilla, Patchouli and Rose, English Lavender

Shame it looks more like "Rancid Tapioca", "Splattered Bugs" and "Mouse Droppings"...

Pyjama Day

I have a plain white cotton top that I sometimes wear to work.

I also have a plain white pyjama top with a similar design.

You already know where this is going...

Went for an end of day shower just now and realised I have, in fact, been wearing my pyjamas all day.

/shrug  No one noticed :)

(They did however, notice that I had the back off my cardigan tucked into my knickers for half the morning. Pfft, it's the new fashion...)

All the best Mir xxx

Gee thanks Son

Watering the houseplants over the weekend.

My younger son, Zzy, esteemed proprietor of an Autistic Spectrum Disorder (and yes, he does have a reserved spot on the sofa): Isn't that a plastic plant?

Me: Don't be silly, I don't water plastic plants

Zzy: Correction, mother. You don't water plastic plants...yet

All the best, Mir xxx

Zzy making a cake

Unwizdom Teeff

No, wizdom teef, noooooo

Y u hurt me? :(

Y u pick now to gro thru?  Y u lost n going sidewayz?

Y? Y!!

I am 49,  and have managed without you all my life. Wisdom teeth kindly feck off!!

Coincidental Milk

Writing The Somewhat Peculiar Story of Mir this evening.  Writing about my childhood in Stockport, near Manchester, England. Recalling the silver top milk we had delivered each day.

Search Google for a good image. Find one that looks good. Follow the link to the website. Nab image.

Go to website Contact Us page, so I can let them know I have used their photo on the post Human Zebra and to tell them to let me know if they want it removed from my blog.

As I am typing, my eyes wander and I notice their address:

I checked Google maps, this is 3.2 miles from my childhood home that I was writing about. (I don't live near there any more).

Nice coincidence :)

Of all the dairies, in all the internets, in all the world...

All the best, Mir xx

Bald Igor

Very happy :)

New rockery has so far become home to a smooth newt (named Simon) and a mutant, but cheerful, blackbird who we have named Bald Igor.

My dreams of it becoming a sanctuary for all kinds of interesting wildlife are coming true already :)

Will try to get a pic of Bald Igor, he is great :)

All the best, Mir xxx

What colour is it then?

Came across this gem on the Argos website...

Thankfully, they seem to have given up and now only stock silver and white...

All the best, Mir xxx

Mir's In Depth British Election Comment

I have voted, but:

Don't really give a toss who runs the country, as long as they don't arse about with stuff.

All the best, Mir xxx

Poem - Goldfish

Poor Hero and Leander,
They meander

In a world not their creation.

As they wallow in the water,

So they ought to

Find some other recreation.

Our Hero slips beside him,

And on her whim

They resume communication.

Leander blinks his eyes,

How we despise

Their blatant lack of inspiration.

But as Leander darts away,

He seems to say

There must be more than procreation.

One trip around his world

Has unfurled

The truth about his destination.

Is it better, they debate,

Accept your fate

Or pine away for explanation?

The universe beyond the glass,

(How can they pass?)

Is just a plane of new vibration.

Though lives may seem a bore,

Sometimes a chore,

Each second is a celebration,

Of the life that makes them breathe –

We must believe,

New days will bring new invitations.

Copyright 2013-2015 Mir Fleur

This poem really is about my two goldfish of the time, Hero and Leander, and their life in their round glass bowl, oblivious to the universe beyond. 

All the best, Mir xxx

Table Top Gaming

Spent the afternoon lurking around Urban Coffee Company in Birmingham, having arm-twisted my socially reticent son and daughter into going along to the table top gaming meet up (Afternoon Play).

Didn't fancy a game myself - not my kind of thing - but very impressed by how friendly everyone was and how busy and lively it was :)

Son and daughter enjoyed it loads, and will definitely be going again :)

The coffee shop itself reminded me loads of Brighton, very comfortable and laid back.

All the best, Mir xxx

Barry: Be the Part

More advice about how to behave in the office for Barry, the new job starter:

Barry, by Zoe Minihan (copyright 2014-2015)

If you like this, there is more about Barry here --> Barry

All the best, Mir xxx

My Super Power

I have discovered that I have a superpower.

It is an incredibly useful power. I revealed it to colleagues recently and they were both impressed and massively jealous.

My super power is this:

I can instantaneously adapt to any time zone and I can get to sleep within a minute anywhere, including standing up. (I do avoid sleeping on trains though - the carriage noise is not loud enough to cover my snoring...).

Doesn't matter where I fly or how long it takes, my brain and body appear to adapt during the flight, so I am tuned into the new time zone as soon as I arrive.

I get tired, that's for sure, but jet lag - none whatsoever.

Having seen how badly some colleagues suffer, I feel very lucky!!

On Layover at Newark, March 2015

All the best, Mir xxx

B-Art

For your visual entertainment, I present a photographic study entitled: 'The Struggle of Woman'.

The Struggle of Woman

Subtitled: I walked into a table.

Ohio Weather

Intermixed,,for write post about the weather here in Oheio yahoos trip - was promised spring sunshine and some impressive  thunderstorms an ad alkyl I get this sleet,,able ice folks  Windows,,- however I have now discovered that my Kindle touchscreen ifs very  beauty  broken. Off it wasn't for WordPerfect you  would item relays a words. ubad

Haha, data in Uzbeks in the hotel laughing my ahead off. I will Tibet your a tranSLATION When I get back to  my oceanfront.    

  All  types  never , nine  xxvx

Update 24 April 2015:
I wrote and published the post on my Kindle, quickly discovering that the touchscreen had gone wonky and was randomly adding and subtracting its own letters regardless of what I was trying to type!  I am now back home on my PC with a functioning keyboard! The above should have read:

"Intended to write a post about the weather here in Ohio this trip - was promised spring sunshine and some impressive thunderstorms but all I get is sleet and ice cold winds - however I have now discovered that my Kindle touchscreen is very very broken. If it wasn't for auto-correct you wouldn't be able to read a word. 

Haha, sat in bed in the hotel laughing my head off. I will give you a translation when I get back to my desktop.

All the best, Mir xxx"

Update 25 April 2015:
Forgot to mention 'ubad' isn't part of the translation. I have no idea what I was trying to write when that came up.  I was literally crying with laughter by then. 

Detroit Airport

Currently in Detroit airport, very nice as airports go! Have bought bag and earrings. Bit spaced out now - it is 1:00am for me and I've been travelling since 10 yesterday.

 Also, I have just been through a fantastic walkway between concourses that features colour changing lights and funky music. I have named it The Tunnel of Potential Epilepsy.

Now drinking a rather revolting coffee from The Economist shop. Should have gone to Illy.

Still 2 hours to go until my next flight boards. May have to play on plastic castle.

All the best, Mir xxx

Back to the USA

My driver is picking me up at 10:15am.

It's now 9:58am. I'm all packed and ready. Not enough time to do anything of interest, so decided to post a blog instead of pacing the hallway.

I travel quite a lot on business. I never tired of flying, and always have to sit next to the window.

Last time I went via Newark and there were bad snowstorms and long delays. This time I hope the weather will be better, and I am travelling via Detroit for a change.

Well, 10:01am.  Time for the repeated passport checking, hallway pacing, and the (pointless as he will come to fetch me anyway) watching out of the window.

Hopefully the driver will arrive in his full uniform, shades and curly wire earphones (he has done that a few times before), so that our local Neighbourhood Watch think I am working for the Men in Black.

All the best, Mir xxx

Days like this

I work long hours Mon to Thurs, but our office closes midday on a Friday. This is fab, makes a big difference to the weekend.

(I'm in a senior position so I don't get to leave on time much during the week, but my Friday afternoon's are precious!)

Today:

An hour after clocking off time. I'm packing up to leave - get called by a colleague. He has an issue to solve, so I stay to help him.

Two hours later, mostly resolved. I pack up again to come home.

By now the weekend traffic is dreadful. My half hour journey takes me over an hour - bumper to bumper for a lot of it.  Console myself that it's the weekend, even if I have to work for some of it.

Get home, take laptop case out of the car. Laptop case feels suspiciously light.  Open laptop case... have left my FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-ing laptop on my desk at work...

Need laptop...no other options:

Had to drive back to work through even worse traffic, get laptop, drive back home again through the same crap traffic as before...

By the time I got home this time round it was six hours after I was supposed to be finished for the day. So much for my afternoon off...

Ah well, there are days like this I guess!

All the best, Mir xxx

Strange Crop Circle in my Garden

Wondering what on earth could have caused this strange pattern to appear on my lawn... wasn't there the day before. Total mystery:

Could possibly have been me digging, but I'm not so sure...

All the best, Mir xxx

Admire my Hat

You know you haven't grown up properly yet, when..

... you are chairing a professional meeting, discussing a multi-million pound project

...and your very important client is dialed in from overseas via Webex / telecon,

...and most of your own team is present in the room, including younger members who ought to be able to look up to you

... and there is a pause in the conversation while the minutes are taken...

...and during this pause, you have to fight with all your might to stop yourself leaning forward to the phone and singing really loudly...

...Tra la la boom de-aaaaaay
My knickers flew awaay
They came back yesterdaaay
They'd been on holidaaaaay...

One day it's going to happen. I can only hold on for so much longer.

Admire my hat!! It is most fabulous

All the best, Mir xxx

(PS. I am 49, I don't expect the growing up is going to happen any time soon).